NetLingo Blog: Let's Talk Tech

I was catching a little junk sleep in the cube farm this morning when I woke up and suspected that a carnivore had attacked my inbox. I had a drunk mouse and sure enough, my zen mail messages had been carpet bombed and the bots , spiders and Trojans were winning the war against my firewall. I called tech support, who gave me the usual technobabble which bottom line meant it was going to be an all day repair job.

I could see from my peer-to-peer networking system that the net.god upstairs in the nerve center was trying to fix the problem and boil the ocean at the same time, the digiterati in the next cubicle were working on some new neologisms, and the neo-luddites across the way were talking about the latest in netsploitation. The network pirate two doors down was looking sinister this morning and the rest of the geeks, like me were just checking out the shareware girls as they, and the rest of the cappuccino cowboys, came to work.

I still considered myself a wild duck so decided it was the moment to take the nerd bird and pitch my shrink-wrap software, technopuppet idea to a guerrilla marketing drive-by VC in the Valley, Mr. Joe Letsdoit. I grabbed my smart phone, Googled it, then MapQuested it (I still like it better than Google Earth ;-) and headed for the airport before my seagull manager arrived. Within a few hours I was in Joe’s office ready to do my dog-and-pony show. Joe turned out to be pretty much of a drump and today he was experiencing a little ticker shock. He immediately asked me to open my kimono before even signing an NDA. I did, he groked my idea, but was already looking for a way to greenwash it. He said he had to keiretsu the idea and would get back to me.

I made the barbie bird flight back, stopped by Sharper Image with the rest of the technojunkies and made it home in time to work on my text-to-speech app for tomorrows office presentation by yours truly, the demo monkey, also known as waldo. The current look is cross of cornea gumbo and angry garden salad, but my main purpose tomorrow is to make sure everyone is eating our own dog food. That is, of course, if the tier zero propellerheads in IT haven’t jerry-rigged my system. Oh well, at least it wasn't a total salmon day. HIOOC, better head to *$ before I burn the candle at both ends, C4N!